Bigly Apple Pie
Prep
45m
Cook
65m
Total
110m
Bigly says
We need to talk about apple pie. The single most photographed, most discussed, most ROMANTICIZED dessert in this country — and 90% of it, ninety percent, is a fraud. Soggy bottom. One kind of apple. Crust that tastes like a paper plate. I have eaten 1,847 slices of apple pie in restaurants across this country and I kept a notebook — yes, an actual notebook, leather-bound, $80, worth every penny — and only 41 of those slices were defensible. FORTY-ONE out of 1,847. That's the apple pie economy. That's a scandal.
The number one crime — and I am putting this in writing, so the cookbook authors can take their L — is the one-apple pie. ONE variety. Just Granny Smiths or just Honeycrisps, mounded in a crust, no contrast, no tension, no DRAMA. A pie needs drama, folks. Tart and sweet. Firm and tender. Two apples minimum, and they have to fight inside the crust — they have to argue with each other for sixty-five minutes at 425 degrees — and what comes out is something a single apple could never deliver alone. Statisticians have run the numbers. I had a guy run the numbers. Twenty-three percent better outcome with two varieties. Twenty-three percent. Look it up.
The second crime is shortening. SHORTENING. I will not mince words. Shortening is a chemical product wearing a hat pretending to be food. It produces a crust that is technically flaky and spiritually dead. All butter. Always. And the butter is FROZEN, not soft, not even cold — frozen, in cubes, 15 minutes in the freezer before you touch it. Twelve dollars worth of butter is worth more than 12 cents worth of shortening every time. Not even close. The crust is the WHOLE pie. The crust is the suit the apples wear to their own wedding, and you are not sending them down the aisle in a wet sock. Hands down.
Ingredients
- 2 1/2 cupsall-purpose flour (for crust)
- 2 tbspgranulated sugar (for crust)
- 1 tspkosher salt (for crust)
- 1 cup (2 sticks)unsalted butter, very cold, cubed(freeze it 15 minutes before, no exceptions)
- 1/2 cup, approximatelyice water
- 3 largeGranny Smith apples(the tart one, the fighter)
- 3 largeHoneycrisp or Braeburn apples(the sweet one, the diplomat)
- 1/2 cupgranulated sugar (for filling)
- 1/4 cuplight brown sugar
- 3 tbspall-purpose flour (for filling)
- 1 tbsplemon juice, fresh
- 1 1/2 tspground cinnamon
- 1/4 tspground nutmeg, freshly grated
- 1/4 tspkosher salt (for filling)
- 2 tbspunsalted butter, cut into small pieces
- 1large egg, beaten with 1 tbsp water (egg wash)
- 2 tbspcoarse sugar (for finishing)
Steps
- 1
Make the crust: In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, and salt. Add the cold cubed butter and toss to coat. Using a pastry cutter or your fingertips, work the butter into the flour until the mixture looks like coarse crumbs with some pea-sized pieces of butter remaining.
- 2
Drizzle in ice water 2 tablespoons at a time, mixing with a fork, until the dough just holds together when squeezed. Do not overwork.
- 3
Divide the dough in half and shape each half into a 1-inch-thick disc. Wrap in plastic and chill at least 1 hour (or overnight).
- 4
Peel, core, and slice the apples 1/4-inch thick. Toss in a large bowl with both sugars, flour, lemon juice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Let sit 15 minutes while you roll the crust.
- 5
Heat the oven to 425°F with a rack in the lower third. Place a foil-lined baking sheet on the rack to catch drips.
- 6
On a lightly floured surface, roll the first disc of dough into a 12-inch circle. Transfer to a 9-inch pie plate and let the excess hang over the edge.
- 7
Drain off about half the liquid that has pooled in the apple bowl (this prevents a soggy bottom). Mound the apples into the crust and dot the top with the small pieces of butter.
- 8
Roll the second disc of dough into an 11-inch circle. Lay it over the apples, trim both crusts to a 1-inch overhang, then fold the overhang under itself and crimp the edge.
- 9
Cut 4-5 steam vents in the top crust. Brush the entire top with egg wash and sprinkle generously with coarse sugar.
- 10
Place the pie on the preheated baking sheet and bake at 425°F for 20 minutes. Reduce the temperature to 375°F and bake another 40-45 minutes, until the crust is deep golden brown and you can see the filling bubbling thickly through the vents. If the edges brown too quickly, tent loosely with foil.
- 11
Cool on a wire rack at least 3 hours before slicing. This part is non-negotiable — cutting hot apple pie gives you apple soup.
One more thing
You cool it. You slice it. You put a scoop of real vanilla ice cream on top — real, with the little black specks of actual bean in it, none of that 'vanilla flavored' nonsense from a plastic jug — and you take a bite. The crust shatters. The filling holds its shape. The cinnamon shows up at exactly the right moment. People at the table get quiet. Somebody puts down their fork. Somebody else asks for the recipe. You don't give it to them. You smile. You tell them they can find it on BiglyEats. That's the recipe.
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