Bigly Key Lime Pie
Prep
20m
Cook
25m
Total
45m
Bigly says
I'm just gonna say it. Most key lime pie is a LIE. A LIE. I've had key lime pie in every state — twice, in some states, three times in Florida alone, I lost count somewhere outside Tallahassee — and I'm telling you what nobody else has the courage to say. The pie you've been eating? Fake. Fraud. A disgrace to the actual pie.
It's not green. KEY LIME PIE IS NOT GREEN. I'll say it again for the people in the back. Key lime pie is not green. It is pale, creamy, slightly yellow, like custard, like sunshine through a window in the morning. If your key lime pie is green, somebody put GREEN DYE in it and you should be very, very suspicious of that person. Real key limes are tiny, they're yellow when ripe, and the juice is YELLOW, not green, and the pie is PALE. An old Florida woman cornered me once at a roadside stand outside Islamorada and made me promise — made me PROMISE, hand on heart — to never make a green pie. I haven't. I never will. The woman is the truth.
My key lime pie is the genuine article. Real key lime juice — bottled is acceptable here, bottled key lime juice is one of the few times bottled juice is OK, I'm not afraid to say it, the bottled stuff from the Keys is the real deal — sweetened condensed milk, egg yolks, and a graham cracker crust with REAL BUTTER in it, none of that pre-made crust that comes in the foil tin and tastes like a sandcastle. Tart. Sweet. Cold. Creamy. The kind of pie that ends a meal and starts a conversation. People stop talking. People close their eyes. People say 'Bigly, this pie, why is it not green, where is the green.' And I tell them: the green was a SCAM. The green was always a SCAM. Believe me.
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cupsgraham cracker crumbs(crush them yourself, fresh is better, the pre-crushed stuff is stale)
- 1/4 cupgranulated sugar (for crust)
- 1/4 tspkosher salt (for crust)
- 7 tbspunsalted butter, melted
- 2 cans (14 oz each)sweetened condensed milk(full fat, never the light stuff, what are we even doing)
- 5large egg yolks
- 3/4 cupkey lime juice(bottled from Florida is fine, or juice 25-30 fresh key limes if you're feeling brave)
- 2 tspkey lime zest(use a regular lime zest if you can't find fresh key limes)
- pinchkosher salt (for filling)
- 1 cup, coldheavy cream (for topping)
- 2 tbsppowdered sugar
- 1/2 tspvanilla extract
- as desiredlime slices or zest (for garnish)
Steps
- 1
Preheat oven to 350F.
- 2
Make the crust: in a bowl, stir together graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and salt. Pour in the melted butter and mix until the crumbs look like wet sand.
- 3
Press the crumb mixture firmly into a 9-inch pie plate, using the flat bottom of a measuring cup to pack it into an even layer up the sides and across the bottom.
- 4
Bake the crust 10 minutes, until lightly golden and fragrant. Remove and let cool while you make the filling.
- 5
Make the filling: in a large bowl, whisk the egg yolks until pale and slightly thickened, about 1 minute.
- 6
Whisk in the sweetened condensed milk until fully combined.
- 7
Add the key lime juice, zest, and salt. Whisk just until smooth — the mixture will thicken slightly from the acid reacting with the milk. Do not overbeat.
- 8
Pour the filling into the warm (or cooled) crust. Smooth the top.
- 9
Bake 15-18 minutes, until the center is set but still has a slight jiggle when you nudge the pan. Do not let it brown.
- 10
Cool to room temperature on a rack, then refrigerate at least 4 hours (preferably overnight). The pie needs to chill thoroughly to set and develop flavor.
- 11
Just before serving, whip the cold heavy cream with powdered sugar and vanilla to soft peaks. Spread or pipe over the pie. Garnish with lime zest or thin lime slices.
- 12
Slice with a sharp knife wiped clean between cuts. Serve cold.
One more thing
That's the pie. That's the Bigly key lime pie. Cold from the fridge, a cloud of whipped cream on top, a thin slice of lime as a little hat. You serve this after a big dinner and your guests will go quiet, they'll close their eyes, they'll forgive you for things you didn't even know you'd done. Key lime pie is the dessert that REPAIRS RELATIONSHIPS. It's true. Marriage counselors should hand it out. Make the pie. Trust the process. And if anybody ever serves you a green key lime pie, you walk out. You walk right out. You don't owe them an explanation. You're welcome.
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Substitutions, what to serve it with, why other chefs are wrong about it. He's got opinions.
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