Name: Huge Bacon Wrapped Jalapeños
Prep time: 15 min
Cook time: 25 min
Total time: 40 min
Yield: 6 servings
Ingredients: 12 fresh jalapeños, large and firm; 8 oz cream cheese, softened; 1 cup sharp cheddar, shredded; 3 scallions, finely sliced; 1/2 tsp garlic powder; 1/2 tsp smoked paprika; 1/4 tsp kosher salt; 1/4 tsp black pepper; 12 slices thin-cut bacon; 1 tbsp brown sugar (optional)

Huge Bacon Wrapped Jalapeños

Prep

15m

Cook

25m

Total

40m

Bigly says

Sit down for this one. Bacon-wrapped jalapeños. Stuffed with cream cheese. Wrapped in bacon. WRAPPED. IN. BACON. Sit with that for a second. Breathe it in. Because what we have here is the single most American appetizer ever conceived by the mind of man — I include hot dogs in that, I include burgers, I include nachos, none of them come close, it's a slaughter. The bacon-wrapped jalapeño is the heavyweight champion of the snack world and it is not even being CHALLENGED.

Many people don't know this — they don't teach it in schools, very SAD, the schools are failing on appetizer education — but the bacon-wrapped jalapeño was perfected in Texas. Texas knows what it's doing with food. You can argue about a lot of things with Texas, you cannot argue about the food, Texas is undefeated on food. They call these 'poppers' or 'ABTs' which stands for Atomic Buffalo Turds, and look, the name is unfortunate, I would have gone with something more dignified like 'Tremendous Pepper Bombs,' but the recipe doesn't care what you call it. The recipe just delivers, every single time, with the consistency of a Swiss watch — and the Swiss know watches the way Texans know smoking meat, both undefeated in their lane.

The BIG mistake everyone makes is baking these long and slow. Wrong. Long and slow makes mush. The pepper turns gray, the bacon gets chewy, the cheese leaks all over the pan and burns onto the foil and you scrape it off at midnight wondering where your life went. NO. You want a HOT oven. 425. You want the bacon to render fast while the pepper still has a little snap. Hot and fast makes MAGIC. Hot and fast keeps the pepper alive. Hot and fast is how Texans do it, how Bigly does it, how YOU are about to do it. Believe me.

Ingredients

12fresh jalapeños, large and firm(pick straight ones, easier to halve and stuff)
8 ozcream cheese, softened
1 cupsharp cheddar, shredded
3scallions, finely sliced
1/2 tspgarlic powder
1/2 tspsmoked paprika
1/4 tspkosher salt
1/4 tspblack pepper
12 slicesthin-cut bacon(thin-cut crisps in the same time the pepper softens — thick-cut will leave you raw bacon, sad situation)
1 tbspbrown sugar (optional)(sprinkle on the bacon for a sweet edge)

Steps

1
Preheat oven to 425°F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil and place a wire rack on top. This lets the bacon crisp on all sides.
2
Wearing gloves (jalapeño oil is no joke), slice each pepper in half lengthwise. Use a small spoon to scrape out the seeds and white ribs.
3
In a bowl, mix cream cheese, cheddar, scallions, garlic powder, smoked paprika, salt, and pepper until smooth and well combined.
4
Stuff each jalapeño half generously with the cheese mixture, filling level with the top of the pepper.
5
Cut the bacon slices in half crosswise so you have 24 short pieces. Wrap one half-slice tightly around each pepper half, tucking the ends underneath to hold them in place. (No toothpicks needed if you tuck well.)
6
Arrange the wrapped peppers on the wire rack, cheese-side up. Sprinkle the brown sugar lightly over the bacon if using.
7
Bake 22-26 minutes, until the bacon is deep golden brown and crisp and the cheese is bubbling. If the bacon needs more color, broil 1-2 minutes at the end, watching closely.
8
Let rest 5 minutes — the cheese is volcanic right out of the oven. Serve warm.

One more thing

Twelve poppers, six people, somehow never enough — you make twelve, you wish you made twenty-four, you make twenty-four, you wish you made forty-eight, this is the eternal popper paradox, statisticians have run the numbers, no solution yet. Make them anyway. Make them HOT. Make them often. Set them down on the table and step back, because the crowd will descend like seagulls on a french fry — and that's a beautiful thing to watch, the way a great appetizer brings strangers together over a paper plate and a pile of napkins. Tell your friends.