Huge Mashed Potatoes
Prep
10m
Cook
25m
Total
35m
Bigly says
Folks. Mashed potatoes. We are doing mashed potatoes today and I have to tell you something — and I am telling you because I LIKE you, the people who read this site, you're the good ones — most mashed potatoes in this country are a DISASTER. A national emergency. They're gluey, they're watery, they're cold, they sit on the plate like wet cement. SAD potatoes. Embarrassing potatoes. Potatoes that have given up on themselves and on you.
But not these. These mashed potatoes — and I have had mashed potatoes in every steakhouse, every diner, every grandmother's kitchen on Earth, I've eaten more mashed potatoes than anyone alive, probably more than anyone in recorded history — these are HUGE. Pillowy. Buttery. They have the SOUL of a potato and the GLAMOUR of a cloud. Big strong men, tough men, men who never cry, they eat these and they get a little misty, they say 'Bigly, what have you done to me, I am a different man now,' and I tell them what I tell everybody: I gave you the greatest mashed potatoes in the history of mashed potatoes. Hands down.
The secret is the ricer. A potato ricer. NOT a masher. NEVER a blender — a blender turns potatoes into wallpaper paste, it is a tragedy, it is a CRIME against the potato. Scientists agree on this, and I've talked to scientists, very smart people, the smartest, the ones with the lab coats and the calibrated thermometers, they have run the numbers on potato texture and they came back with one answer: the ricer. The ricer breaks the cells the right way. The ricer doesn't whip. The ricer doesn't bruise. The ricer is the truth. Trust me.
Ingredients
- 3 lbYukon Gold potatoes(Yukon Golds, not russets, not red, end of discussion)
- 2 tbsp, plus more to tastekosher salt(the water should taste like the ocean)
- 1 cup (2 sticks)unsalted butter(this is not the time to be shy with butter)
- 1 cupheavy cream(warm, not cold, cold cream is a coward)
- 1/2 cupwhole milk(also warm)
- 1 tspfreshly ground black pepper
- 2 tbspchives, finely chopped (optional, for serving)
Steps
- 1
Peel the potatoes and cut into roughly 1.5-inch chunks so they cook evenly.
- 2
Put the potato chunks in a large pot and cover with cold water by 2 inches. Add 2 tablespoons of salt. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a steady simmer.
- 3
Simmer 18-22 minutes until a paring knife slides through a chunk with zero resistance. Don't undercook — undercooked potato ruins the texture.
- 4
Drain the potatoes thoroughly in a colander. Return them to the empty hot pot and shake gently over low heat for 30 seconds to drive off any remaining moisture.
- 5
Meanwhile, warm the butter, cream, and milk together in a small saucepan over low heat until the butter has fully melted. Do not boil.
- 6
Working in batches, press the hot potatoes through a potato ricer back into the pot. (No ricer? A food mill works. Avoid a blender or food processor — they make glue.)
- 7
Pour the warm butter-cream mixture over the riced potatoes and fold gently with a rubber spatula until just combined and silky. Do not whip or beat.
- 8
Season with black pepper and additional salt to taste. Serve immediately, topped with chives if using.
One more thing
You do this right, you serve these potatoes at a holiday dinner, and people stop talking. They just stop. The whole table goes quiet. Aunts who haven't been quiet since 1987 — quiet. Uncles arguing about football — quiet. The potatoes do that. The potatoes have POWER. Pile them in a big bowl, dent the middle, drop another knob of butter in there to melt down into the dent like a beautiful golden lake, and watch what happens. Watch the family. Watch them remember why they show up. Save me a piece.
★ QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS ONE? ★
Ask Bigly about Huge Mashed Potatoes.
Substitutions, what to serve it with, why other chefs are wrong about it. He's got opinions.
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