Name: Huge Quinoa Salad
Prep time: 15 min
Cook time: 20 min
Total time: 35 min
Yield: 6 servings
Ingredients: 1.5 cups quinoa, rinsed; 2.5 cups water or vegetable broth; 1 large English cucumber, diced; 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved; 1/2 small red onion, finely diced; 1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley, chopped; 1/4 cup fresh mint, chopped; 3/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled; 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil; 1/4 cup lemon juice, fresh; 1 clove garlic, grated; 1 tsp, plus more to taste kosher salt; 1/2 tsp black pepper

Huge Quinoa Salad

Prep

15m

Cook

20m

Total

35m

Bigly says

Folks. FOLKS. Quinoa. We're doing quinoa, and I know what you're thinking — Bigly, quinoa, really, quinoa is sad, quinoa is what people eat when they've given up — and to that I say, WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. You've been eating BAD quinoa. You've been eating quinoa cooked by people who hate themselves and want you to suffer with them. The quinoa I'm about to give you? Tremendous quinoa. HUGE quinoa. The greatest quinoa in the history of tiny ancient grains. Pre-pyramid technology, the Incas were eating this stuff, the INCAS, they built empires on this grain. Look it up.

Most quinoa is mushy. Most quinoa is wet. Most quinoa tastes like a damp sock that somebody forgot in a gym bag for three weeks. SAD. That chef on TV — you know the one — tells you to cook quinoa like rice. WRONG. Quinoa is not rice. Quinoa needs to be TOASTED first. Dry pan. Until it smells nutty. If your chef tells you otherwise, find a new chef.

And then we load it up. Cucumber. Tomato. Parsley. Mint — yes mint, mint is the secret weapon, mint is the move, the other so-called chefs skip the mint and their salads are FLAT, no life, no personality, no joy — and lemon, fresh lemon, plenty of olive oil, the good stuff, the green expensive stuff that comes in the dark bottle. Big strong vegan men, men who haven't smiled in YEARS, they take one bite of this quinoa salad and they CRY. Real tears. Tremendous tears. Believe me.

Ingredients

1.5 cupsquinoa, rinsed(rinse it, do not skip, the bitter coating is REAL)
2.5 cupswater or vegetable broth
1 largeEnglish cucumber, diced
1 pintcherry tomatoes, halved
1/2 smallred onion, finely diced
1/2 cupflat-leaf parsley, chopped
1/4 cupfresh mint, chopped(do not skip the mint, the mint is the move)
3/4 cupfeta cheese, crumbled(optional but recommended, sheep's milk if you can find it)
1/3 cupextra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cuplemon juice, fresh
1 clovegarlic, grated
1 tsp, plus more to tastekosher salt
1/2 tspblack pepper

Steps

1
Place rinsed quinoa in a dry medium saucepan over medium heat. Toast, stirring often, for 3-4 minutes until it smells nutty and the grains look dry.
2
Add water or broth and 1/2 tsp of the salt. Bring to a boil, then cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer for 15 minutes.
3
Remove from heat and let stand, covered, for 5 minutes. Then fluff with a fork and spread on a sheet pan to cool to room temperature.
4
While the quinoa cools, whisk olive oil, lemon juice, grated garlic, remaining salt, and pepper in a small bowl.
5
In a large bowl, combine cooled quinoa, cucumber, tomatoes, red onion, parsley, and mint.
6
Pour the dressing over the salad and toss to coat. Taste and adjust salt and lemon.
7
Fold in the feta last so it stays in distinct crumbles. Serve immediately or chill up to 30 minutes for the flavors to settle.

One more thing

That's the secret. The whole thing. Toast the quinoa, fluff it like you mean it, and don't skimp on the herbs. This salad keeps in the fridge for three days and somehow gets BETTER on day two — I don't know how, food chemists agree, the food scientists are working on it as we speak — and you'll have lunch ready to go all week. Bring it to work. Watch the office. Watch them stare at your bowl while they eat their sad desk sandwich. Don't share. They didn't earn it. Now go eat.