The Best Black Beans
Prep
10m
Cook
90m
Total
100m
Bigly says
I want to talk about black beans. There is a CRISIS in black beans and nobody is reporting on it. The food media won't touch it — they're cowards, they'd rather write 4,000 words about 'plant-based protein' which is just BEANS, it's been BEANS the whole time, they invented a new word for beans, an absolute disgrace. The crisis is this: most black beans out there are TERRIBLE. Sad. Watery. They taste like the can they came in. An embarrassment to the entire bean kingdom.
These black beans? Different. Completely different. These black beans have DEPTH. These black beans have a SOUL. You taste them and you think, 'My God, what have I been eating my whole life? Was it even food? Was it just beige?' And the answer is: yes. It was just beige. But not anymore. Not after today. Today is the day you join the BLACK BEAN ELITE. Scientists — and I've talked to scientists, very smart people, the smartest — agree that real black beans are a measurable upgrade to a human life. They've run the numbers. The numbers are stunning. The numbers are off the charts.
The secret — and I am giving this to you for free, no newsletter signup before the ingredients which is honestly a kind of psychological warfare practiced by every other recipe site on Earth — the secret is to start with dried beans, not canned, and to build flavor in LAYERS. Onion, garlic, cumin, a bay leaf, a little smoked paprika, and at the end — at the very end, this is the move — a splash of lime and a handful of cilantro. The lime wakes them up. The cilantro reminds them they're at a party. The beans remember. The beans always remember.
Ingredients
- 1 lbdried black beans(soaked overnight, or use the quick-soak method)
- 2 tbspolive oil
- 1 largeyellow onion, finely diced
- 6 clovesgarlic, minced
- 1jalapeño, seeded and minced(leave the seeds in if you have spine)
- 1.5 tspground cumin
- 1 tspsmoked paprika
- 1 tspdried oregano
- 2bay leaves
- 6 cupslow-sodium chicken or vegetable broth
- 1.5 tsp, plus more to tastekosher salt
- 1/2 tspblack pepper
- 1 tbsplime juice, fresh
- 1/4 cupfresh cilantro, chopped
Steps
- 1
Drain and rinse the soaked beans. If you forgot to soak overnight, cover the beans with 2 inches of water in a pot, bring to a boil for 2 minutes, remove from heat, cover, and let stand 1 hour. Drain.
- 2
Heat olive oil in a Dutch oven or heavy pot over medium heat. Add the onion and cook 5-7 minutes, until soft and translucent.
- 3
Add the garlic and jalapeño. Cook 1 minute, until fragrant — do not brown the garlic.
- 4
Stir in the cumin, smoked paprika, and oregano. Toast in the oil for 30 seconds to bloom the spices.
- 5
Add the drained beans, bay leaves, and broth. The liquid should cover the beans by about an inch — add water if needed.
- 6
Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a low simmer. Partially cover and cook for 60-90 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the beans are completely tender. Time varies with how old the beans are.
- 7
Once the beans are tender, season with salt and pepper. Add salt at the end — salting too early can keep beans firm.
- 8
For thicker beans, use the back of a wooden spoon to mash about 1/2 cup of beans against the side of the pot, then stir back in. Simmer another 5 minutes.
- 9
Remove the bay leaves. Stir in the lime juice and cilantro just before serving. Taste and adjust salt one more time.
One more thing
These beans go with everything. Tacos. Rice. Eggs. A spoon. A spoon and a quiet kitchen at 11pm when nobody's watching — which is the BEST time to eat black beans, NOBODY talks about this, it's basically a state secret. People come up to me at parties, they say, 'Bigly, what should I serve with these beans?' and I say, 'Anything. Literally anything. Or nothing. Just the beans. The beans are enough.' And they look at me, and they nod, slowly, because they understand. The beans are enough. The beans were always enough. Now go eat.
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