The Best Cake Pops
Prep
60m
Cook
30m
Total
90m
Bigly says
Folks. Cake pops. The BEST cake pops. The greatest cake pops in the history of cake pops — and I KNOW, I know, some of you are saying 'Bigly, cake pops are a four-dollar gimmick, cake pops are for children's birthday parties at trampoline gyms, cake pops are not a serious dessert,' and I hear you, I HEAR you, but you are wrong. You are simply wrong. A real cake pop, a Bigly cake pop, is a religious experience. People weep. I've seen it. I've watched grown adults cry into a paper towel over a cake pop. It happens.
The coffee shops have poisoned the well. They've taken a beautiful concept and they've crushed it under the weight of corporate cake science. Dry cake. Hard candy coating that shatters like a windshield. Stale sprinkles from 2018, sitting in a jar in a warehouse in Indiana, waiting for their turn to disappoint you. SAD. And they charge you four dollars and ninety-five cents for ONE of these little disasters. Plus tax. Plus the tip on the swivel tablet — and that's another thing, the tablet has gotten OUT OF CONTROL, you turn around a tablet, you tip 22% for a muffin, $22 for one egg at brunch, $4.95 for a stale orb of regret, who built this system. A scandal. A complete scandal.
My cake pops? MOIST. I'm using the word, I know it makes people squirm, I don't care, MOIST cake. Smooth chocolate coating that snaps clean but doesn't shatter. Sprinkles that are actually FRESH because we just cracked the bottle open like normal people. Big strong men come up to me — guys with beards, tough guys, guys who would never order a cake pop in public on principle — and they whisper, 'Bigly. I ate eight of them. Eight. In the parking lot of the school fundraiser.' And I tell them, I say, 'Of course you did. That is the appropriate response to a tremendous cake pop. Eight is the minimum. Eight is just the warm-up.'
Ingredients
- 1 box (15.25 oz)boxed yellow cake mix(yes, the box, don't be a hero, the box works)
- 3eggs (per box instructions)
- 1/2 cupvegetable oil (per box instructions)
- 1 cupwater (per box instructions)
- 1/2 cup, store-bought or homemadecream cheese frosting(less is more, you'll thank me)
- 16 oz (about 2 1/2 cups)white candy melts or chocolate
- 1 tbspvegetable shortening(thins the coating, makes the shell smooth)
- 24lollipop sticks(6-inch paper sticks, not the cheap ones that bend)
- 1/2 cuprainbow sprinkles(FRESH sprinkles, check the date)
Steps
- 1
Bake the cake according to package directions in a 9x13-inch pan. Cool completely on a wire rack, at least 1 hour.
- 2
Crumble the cooled cake into a large bowl using your hands or a fork. You want fine, even crumbs with no large chunks.
- 3
Add the frosting 2 tablespoons at a time, mixing with a spatula or your hands, until the mixture holds together when squeezed but isn't wet or greasy. You may not need all the frosting.
- 4
Scoop the mixture into 1-inch balls (about 1 heaping tablespoon each), rolling between your palms until smooth. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
- 5
Refrigerate the cake balls for at least 30 minutes (or freeze for 15 minutes). They need to be cold and firm before dipping.
- 6
Melt the candy melts and shortening together in a deep, narrow microwave-safe bowl in 30-second bursts, stirring between, until smooth. A deep bowl makes dipping easier.
- 7
Dip the tip of each lollipop stick about 1/2 inch into the melted coating, then push it halfway into a cake ball. Return to the sheet and chill another 10 minutes to set the stick.
- 8
Working with one cake pop at a time, dip the entire ball into the melted coating, swirling to fully cover. Let excess drip off, then gently tap the stick against the bowl edge.
- 9
Immediately sprinkle with rainbow sprinkles before the coating sets. Stand upright in a styrofoam block or cake pop stand, or lay on parchment to set.
- 10
Let set at room temperature for about 15 minutes until the coating is firm. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days.
One more thing
Twenty-four cake pops. Two dozen tiny perfect orbs of joy. Give them away at parties, sell them at school fundraisers, hand them to confused neighbors — and watch their faces. Watch the recognition. Watch them realize they have been LIED to for years by the coffee shops, by the corporate cake-pop machine, by the entire industrial pop-on-a-stick complex. You'll see it. The moment of awakening. It's a beautiful thing. Save me a piece.
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Ask Bigly about The Best Cake Pops.
Substitutions, what to serve it with, why other chefs are wrong about it. He's got opinions.
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