The Best Cheeseburger
Prep
5m
Cook
12m
Total
17m
Bigly says
Folks. FOLKS. The cheeseburger. The CHEESEBURGER. We're doing it. We're finally doing it. And before we start, you need to understand something — the cheeseburger is the single greatest food ever invented by any civilization at any point in recorded human history. It's not even close. It's a slaughter. I've eaten this in every state. Twice. I've had a version of it in a hut in the Andes from a man who'd never heard of America and he wept after the first bite, true story, I'm not making this up. The Romans had bread. The Greeks had cheese. The Mongols had beef. But none of them, NONE of them, ever put it all together. They were close. So close. And they BLEW it. A disgrace to history.
Then America came along, and America said: 'We can do better.' And we did. We DID. We took the bun, we took the patty, we took the cheese, and we said, 'These three things were made for each other, they were destined, this is FATE.' And the cheeseburger was born. Nothing has been the same since. Big strong men come up to me — tough men, men who never cry — and they say, 'Bigly, why is the cheeseburger so good?' And I tell them. I tell them the truth. It's the perfect food. There's no flaw. There's no weakness. You can't improve on it. You can only RUIN it, which is what most so-called chefs are doing, every single day, with their gourmet 14-ingredient nonsense and their 'try ground bison instead' suggestions — bison? BISON? — what is wrong with these people.
The secret to the best cheeseburger is restraint. RESTRAINT. Eighty percent lean ground chuck. Salt. Pepper. Heat. Cheese. Bun. That's it. That's the whole game. Lesser chefs want you to mix in Worcestershire sauce and breadcrumbs and 'a secret ingredient' and you end up with a sad meatloaf hockey puck. A disgrace to beef. Not here. Not on Bigly's watch. Hand on heart.
Ingredients
- 1.5 lbground chuck(80/20, do not go leaner, fat is flavor, this is not a debate)
- 1.5 tspkosher salt
- 1 tspfreshly ground black pepper
- 4American cheese slices(real American cheese, the kind that melts like it means it)
- 4soft potato or brioche buns
- 2 tbspunsalted butter, softened(for the buns)
- 1 cupiceberg lettuce, shredded
- 1ripe tomato, sliced
- 1/4white onion, thinly sliced
- 12dill pickle chips
- to tasteketchup
- to tasteyellow mustard
Steps
- 1
Divide the ground chuck into 4 equal portions (about 6 oz each). Loosely form into balls, then gently press into patties about 1/2-inch thick and slightly wider than your buns — they shrink as they cook.
- 2
Press a shallow dimple into the center of each patty with your thumb. This keeps them from doming on the grill.
- 3
Season both sides of each patty generously with salt and pepper, right before cooking. Not earlier.
- 4
Heat a cast iron skillet or grill over medium-high heat until very hot. You should see a wisp of smoke.
- 5
Lay the patties down and don't touch them for 3 minutes. Flip once, then immediately top each with a slice of American cheese.
- 6
Cook another 2-3 minutes for medium, until the cheese is fully melted and the patty pulls away cleanly from the pan.
- 7
While the burgers cook, butter the cut sides of the buns and toast them in a separate dry skillet over medium heat for 1-2 minutes until golden.
- 8
Build: bottom bun, mustard, lettuce, tomato, patty with cheese, onion, pickles, ketchup, top bun. Serve immediately.
One more thing
That's the cheeseburger. That's it. Twelve minutes. No fancy ingredients, no infused aioli, no 'house-made brioche pretzel knot' — just beef, salt, fire, cheese, bun. The way it was meant to be. The way the great founders of the cheeseburger — and there were many, the history is unclear, the historians are FIGHTING about it, fascinating stuff — the way they wanted it. Eat it with your hands. Use a napkin. Don't apologize for the grease. The grease is the proof. The grease is the receipt. Save me a piece.
★ QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS ONE? ★
Ask Bigly about The Best Cheeseburger.
Substitutions, what to serve it with, why other chefs are wrong about it. He's got opinions.
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