Name: The Best Chef Salad
Prep time: 20 min
Cook time: 12 min
Total time: 32 min
Yield: 4 servings
Ingredients: 1 large head romaine lettuce, chopped; 1/2 small head iceberg lettuce, chopped; 8 oz roasted turkey breast, sliced; 8 oz smoked ham, sliced; 4 oz Swiss cheese, julienned; 4 oz sharp cheddar cheese, julienned; 4 hard-boiled eggs, quartered; 6 slices bacon, cooked crisp and crumbled; 1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved; 1 English cucumber, sliced; 1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced; 1/2 cup buttermilk; 1/2 cup mayonnaise; 1/4 cup sour cream; 1 tbsp fresh dill, chopped; 2 tbsp fresh chives, chopped; 1/2 tsp garlic powder; 1/2 tsp onion powder; 1 tsp lemon juice; to taste kosher salt; to taste black pepper

The Best Chef Salad

Prep

20m

Cook

12m

Total

32m

Bigly says

Listen. The CHEF salad. Named after a CHEF, which is the highest honor a salad can receive — they don't name salads after accountants, they don't name salads after dentists, they name them after CHEFS because chefs are the kings of the kitchen and this salad is a KING. The greatest chef salad in the history of chef salads, and I've had this in every state. Twice. I've eaten chef salads on airplanes. I've eaten chef salads in hospital cafeterias when I was visiting people. I once ate a chef salad in a bowling alley and IT WAS PHENOMENAL — the bowling alley chef salad is an underrated American treasure, somebody needs to write about it, not me, I'm busy.

Here's what nobody tells you about the chef salad. Most chefs are afraid to do this. They give you a chef salad with TURKEY SLICES from a plastic bag and call it gourmet. Sad. SAD. Lunch meat from a bag is not a chef salad ingredient — lunch meat from a bag is a sandwich filler when you've made bad decisions in life. The deli counter exists. The roast turkey exists. The ham off the bone exists. Use them. Use them like an adult.

We do this RIGHT. Real roasted turkey. Real ham off the bone — or the closest you can get from the deli counter, the GOOD deli counter, the one where the guy knows your name — real Swiss, real cheddar, real eggs, real bacon, crisp lettuce, tomato, cucumber, red onion, and a buttermilk ranch I'm about to teach you to make from scratch in 90 seconds. Ninety seconds. Bottled ranch is a CRIME. Big Mayo doesn't want you to know how easy this is, but I'm telling you for free. Plain and simple.

Ingredients

1 large headromaine lettuce, chopped
1/2 small headiceberg lettuce, chopped(iceberg gets a bad rap, iceberg is the spine of a chef salad)
8 ozroasted turkey breast, sliced(from the deli counter, sliced thick)
8 ozsmoked ham, sliced
4 ozSwiss cheese, julienned
4 ozsharp cheddar cheese, julienned
4hard-boiled eggs, quartered
6 slicesbacon, cooked crisp and crumbled
1 cupcherry tomatoes, halved
1English cucumber, sliced
1/2 smallred onion, thinly sliced
1/2 cupbuttermilk
1/2 cupmayonnaise
1/4 cupsour cream
1 tbspfresh dill, chopped
2 tbspfresh chives, chopped
1/2 tspgarlic powder
1/2 tsponion powder
1 tsplemon juice
to tastekosher salt
to tasteblack pepper

Steps

1
Place eggs in a saucepan, cover with cold water by an inch, and bring to a boil. Cover, turn off heat, and let stand 10 minutes for fully set yolks. Transfer to ice water, peel, and quarter.
2
Cook bacon in a skillet over medium heat until crisp, about 6-8 minutes. Drain on paper towels and crumble.
3
Whisk buttermilk, mayonnaise, sour cream, dill, chives, garlic powder, onion powder, lemon juice, salt, and pepper in a bowl until smooth. Refrigerate while you build the salad.
4
Cut the turkey, ham, Swiss, and cheddar into matchsticks (julienne).
5
On a large platter or in a wide shallow bowl, spread the chopped romaine and iceberg in an even bed.
6
Arrange the turkey, ham, Swiss, and cheddar in distinct strips or sections across the top of the lettuce.
7
Fill in the spaces with quartered eggs, cherry tomatoes, cucumber slices, and red onion.
8
Scatter the crumbled bacon over everything.
9
Drizzle the ranch generously over the top or serve on the side. Season with flaky salt and pepper and serve immediately.

One more thing

That's a chef salad. That's the WHOLE meal in a bowl. Protein, vegetables, fat, crunch, creaminess, salt — every box checked. You eat this for lunch and you don't think about food again until dinner, which is the mark of a serious salad. Pack it for work, build it on a big platter for a family dinner, make it for someone you love and watch them look up at you halfway through with a little bit of ranch on their chin — they will never forget that moment. Salads can be LOVE. Save me a piece.