The Best Pan-Seared Tilapia

I'm just gonna say it. Tilapia is GREAT. And I know, I KNOW, the snobs are already typing — the fish snobs, the seafood elitists, the people who only eat halibut flown in on a small plane from Alaska by a man named Doug — they are already writing me hate mail. Let them. Let them write. Tilapia is great when you cook it right, and most people do NOT cook it right, and that is why tilapia has a bad reputation, and that bad reputation is UNFAIR. Tilapia is a workhorse fish. Tilapia is the FIFTH most-eaten fish in the United States. Look it up. I've had people look it up. Fifth. And the four ahead of it are mostly tuna, which is barely a fish, tuna is a CAR.

The problem — and the problem is always the same problem, every fish recipe, every single one, it's a CRISIS — is overcooking. People put it in a cold pan. They cook it for nine minutes. They flip it eight times. By the time it hits the plate it has the texture of a kitchen sponge and the flavor of a small disappointment. I had a food scientist — PhD, very smart guy, took him 90 minutes to explain protein denaturation, worth every second — and he confirmed it: tilapia is DONE in six minutes, not 25. Twenty-five minutes is a hostage situation. The fish died at minute eight and you kept going. Sad.

We are searing it. Hot pan, dry fish, butter at the end, lemon over the top, three minutes per side and OUT. The crust is golden, the inside is just barely flaky, and the whole thing comes together in less time than it takes to argue about what to order on a takeout app. A tremendous dinner for four dollars a person. Tremendous. Not even close. It's a slaughter.

Eat it the moment it hits the plate — tilapia waits for no one, tilapia has places to be, and the longer it sits the sadder it gets, like a guest at a party nobody is talking to. Serve it over rice, serve it with a pile of green beans, serve it on a piece of crusty bread with the pan butter spooned over the top — that's actually how Bigly does it, on the bread, standing up, in the kitchen, with the pan still hot on the stove. The TV chefs will tell you to plate it with edible flowers. EDIBLE FLOWERS. On a tilapia. I am begging you. It's a Tuesday. Eat the fish. Tell your friends.