The Greatest Cold Cucumber Soup
Prep
15m
Cook
0m
Total
15m
Bigly says
Sit down for this one. Cold soup. I can already hear the complaints — 'Bigly, soup is HOT, soup has always been hot, cold soup is what happens when somebody forgets to turn the burner on.' Wrong. WRONG. That is what the Soup Industrial Complex wants you to believe, and they have been getting away with it for years. It's a scandal. Today we are correcting the record, in cucumber form, and the record needed correcting BADLY.
Cold cucumber soup is one of the greatest culinary achievements of the human species. Period. The Persians had this — they called it 'mast-o-khiar,' beautiful name, sounds like it tastes — the Bulgarians had tarator, the Greeks had tzatziki which is basically the same idea slightly thicker, the whole MEDITERRANEAN had this figured out before America was even a twinkle in a cartographer's eye. And then we got here, to this hot loud country, and somebody decided cold soup was weird? Sad. Embarrassing. A crime against cucumbers.
The secret is the yogurt. Full-fat Greek yogurt. Cold. Thick. Tangy. You blend it with English cucumber, fresh dill, a small whisper of garlic and a hit of lemon, you chill it for an hour, and you serve it in a bowl on a 95-degree afternoon, and your guests will weep with joy. Real tears. The neighbor who taught me her version lived to be 102 — could be a coincidence, probably not. A guy named Ramón once told me 'if it's cold and it's green, it's medicine.' He's the truth. Trust me on this one. It's a beautiful thing.
Ingredients
- 2 largeEnglish cucumbers (or 2 lb Persian cucumbers)(thin-skinned, no need to peel, regular waxy cucumbers will ruin this)
- 2 cupsfull-fat Greek yogurt(full fat, not zero percent, the fat is the entire point)
- 1 cup, plus more as neededice water
- 1 small clovegarlic, finely grated on a microplane(small, raw garlic is loud, restraint is the move)
- 1/4 cup, plus more for garnishfresh dill, chopped
- 2 tbspfresh mint leaves
- 2 tbsplemon juice, fresh
- 1 tspwhite wine vinegar
- 2 tbsp, plus more for finishingextra-virgin olive oil(the good stuff, the bottle you reach for last)
- 1 tsp, plus more to tastekosher salt
- 1/4 tspblack pepper
- 1/4 cuptoasted walnuts, chopped (for serving)
- a pinchAleppo pepper or paprika (for serving)
Steps
- 1
Reserve about 1/3 of one cucumber for garnish. Roughly chop the rest.
- 2
In a blender, combine the chopped cucumber, yogurt, ice water, grated garlic, dill, mint, lemon juice, vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper.
- 3
Blend on high until completely smooth, 30-45 seconds. The texture should be pourable but creamy — add a splash more ice water if too thick.
- 4
Taste and adjust salt and lemon. The soup should taste bright and slightly tangy.
- 5
Transfer to a covered container and chill for at least 1 hour (and up to overnight). It will get better as it sits.
- 6
Dice the reserved cucumber into small pieces for garnish.
- 7
Ladle the chilled soup into bowls. Top with diced cucumber, chopped walnuts, extra dill, a drizzle of olive oil, and a pinch of Aleppo pepper.
One more thing
Eat this on a Tuesday in August when it's 95 degrees and your air conditioner is wheezing like an old man on a staircase. Eat it for lunch. Eat it on the porch with a glass of cold white wine. You'll feel like you're on vacation in a country you've never been to — and frankly, that's the best kind of vacation, nobody can ask you about the flight. Cold soup is good soup. Don't let anyone tell you different. And there you have it.
★ QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS ONE? ★
Ask Bigly about The Greatest Cold Cucumber Soup.
Substitutions, what to serve it with, why other chefs are wrong about it. He's got opinions.
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