The Greatest Waldorf Salad

Prep
15m
Cook
5m
Total
20m
Bigly says
Many people don't know this. Waldorf salad. The GREATEST Waldorf salad. It's a piece of culinary history nobody talks about anymore — the Waldorf was invented at the Waldorf Hotel in New York City in the 1890s by the maître d'. The MAÎTRE D'. A guy named Oscar. He just threw it together for a fancy dinner and it became iconic overnight. Apples. Celery. Walnuts. Mayo. Grapes came later. That's it. Five ingredients. The man was a GENIUS. They should put a statue of him somewhere. I'd put it somewhere good. The best location.
And somewhere along the way the Waldorf salad fell out of fashion. People stopped making it. They moved on. They started doing kale Caesars and 'deconstructed Cobb bowls' with fourteen ingredients and a 'sustainable foraged microgreen' on top — a TRAGEDY, by the way, the microgreens are a SCAM, they're just baby plants in a clamshell that you pay nine dollars for, twelve dollars for a single strawberry as a garnish, TWELVE DOLLARS, it's a crime against produce — and meanwhile the humble Waldorf, the elegant Waldorf, the Waldorf that built civilization, was sitting in the back of the recipe box gathering dust. Sad. Very sad. We are FIXING IT.
My Waldorf — and I have to say it, I have to, because honesty is what we do here — beats the original. It beats Oscar's. I'm sorry, Oscar. You were a genius, but I'm a bigger genius, it happens, you can look it up. The secret is the dressing. Most people use straight mayo and it's HEAVY, it sits in the bowl like wet concrete. We are cutting the mayo with Greek yogurt and a hit of lemon and a touch of honey, and the whole thing becomes LIGHT, it becomes FRESH, it becomes the kind of salad you'd actually want to eat on a hot day instead of just looking at and feeling guilty about. Take my word for it.
Ingredients
- 2 largecrisp apples, cored and diced(Honeycrisp or Granny Smith, no mealy apples allowed)
- 2 tbsp, dividedlemon juice, fresh
- 3 stalkscelery, thinly sliced on a bias
- 1.5 cupsred seedless grapes, halved
- 3/4 cupwalnut halves
- 1/4 cupmayonnaise
- 1/4 cupplain Greek yogurt
- 1 tsphoney
- 1/2 tspDijon mustard
- 1/2 tspkosher salt
- 1/4 tspblack pepper
- 2 tbspfresh chives or parsley, chopped
- 1 headbutter lettuce leaves (for serving)
Steps
- 1
Toast the walnuts in a dry skillet over medium heat for 4-5 minutes, shaking the pan frequently, until fragrant and a shade darker. Transfer to a cutting board, cool, and roughly chop.
- 2
Dice the apples and immediately toss them in a bowl with 1 tbsp of the lemon juice to keep them from browning.
- 3
Add the sliced celery and halved grapes to the apples.
- 4
In a separate bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, Greek yogurt, remaining 1 tbsp lemon juice, honey, Dijon, salt, and pepper.
- 5
Pour the dressing over the apple mixture and fold gently with a spatula until everything is lightly coated.
- 6
Fold in most of the toasted walnuts and most of the chopped chives, reserving some of each for the top.
- 7
Line a serving bowl or platter with the butter lettuce leaves. Pile the Waldorf salad on top of the lettuce.
- 8
Scatter the reserved walnuts and chives over the top. Serve cold, ideally within an hour of dressing.
One more thing
And there you have it. The Waldorf. The real one. The lighter one. The better one. A salad with a HISTORY, a salad with a HOTEL named after it, a salad with the dignity that comes from being invented before the internet existed and ruined everything. Serve it at a luncheon. Pack it for a picnic. Eat it standing up at the counter in your underwear at 11pm, I don't care, I won't judge. The Waldorf doesn't judge. The Waldorf only forgives. Tremendous.

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