Tremendous Chocolate Milkshake
Prep
3m
Cook
0m
Total
3m
Bigly says
Let me tell you something. The chocolate milkshake. The TREMENDOUS chocolate milkshake. The diners had them. The soda fountains had them. Your grandmother had them in a glass shaped like a tiny upside-down trumpet, sitting on a counter, watching the world go by. Every American summer for the last century has had a chocolate milkshake humming in the background somewhere — and most of them, sadly, have been DISASTERS. Thin. Watery. Brown milk in a cup. A national tragedy hiding in plain sight.
There is a civil war in the milkshake world and you need to know which side you're on. On one side: people who blend GOOD vanilla ice cream — the real stuff, with the little black specks of actual vanilla bean, the dots of victory — with cold milk and cocoa and chocolate syrup. On the other side: people who squirt chocolate syrup into a glass of milk and pretend they're done. Those aren't milkshakes. Those are chocolate milks with delusions of grandeur. Embarrassing. Sad. We don't do that here. We're using ice cream, we're using a blender, we're taking this SERIOUSLY.
And here is the secret. The thing most chefs won't tell you because most chefs do not know. The thing the other recipe sites would bury behind a cookie banner with 18 toggles asking if you want to share your data with 200 advertising partners for 'legitimate interests' — which means NOTHING, by the way, it is a phrase that means absolutely nothing — the secret is a PINCH OF SALT. Yes. Salt. In your milkshake. Sounds crazy, isn't crazy, the salt makes the chocolate taste MORE like chocolate. It's chemistry. Food chemists agree. Not even close.
Ingredients
- 3 cups (about 1.5 pints)premium vanilla ice cream(the kind with real vanilla bean flecks)
- 1/2 cupwhole milk(cold, straight from the fridge)
- 3 tbspchocolate syrup(plus more for drizzling the glass)
- 1 tbspunsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/2 tspvanilla extract
- a pinchkosher salt(yes, salt, trust the process)
- as neededwhipped cream (for topping)
- for garnishchocolate shavings or sprinkles
- 2maraschino cherries(non-negotiable, this is a milkshake not a cup of mud)
Steps
- 1
Chill two tall glasses in the freezer for at least 15 minutes. Cold glass equals slower melt.
- 2
Drizzle chocolate syrup down the inside of each chilled glass in a swirl pattern for visual effect.
- 3
Add the cold milk to the blender first, followed by cocoa powder, vanilla extract, salt, and chocolate syrup. Pulse 2-3 times to combine and prevent cocoa clumps.
- 4
Add the vanilla ice cream a scoop at a time. Blend on low to medium speed for 20-30 seconds, just until smooth and thick. Do NOT over-blend — high speed melts the ice cream and gives you a soup.
- 5
Check the texture. It should hold a soft peak on a spoon. If too thick, add a tablespoon more milk and pulse once. If too thin, add another scoop of ice cream.
- 6
Pour into the chilled glasses. Top with a tall crown of whipped cream, a drizzle of chocolate syrup, a sprinkle of chocolate shavings, and a cherry.
- 7
Serve immediately with thick straws and long spoons.
One more thing
Three minutes. Two glasses. One pinch of salt that changes the entire equation. Serve this at a backyard barbecue and watch what happens — phones go down, kids stop fighting, the dog stops barking, a hush falls over the whole lawn while every person on the property enjoys what is, by any reasonable measure, a chocolate masterpiece. Two straws if you're sharing, one straw if you're not, no judgment either way. Tell your friends.
★ QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS ONE? ★
Ask Bigly about Tremendous Chocolate Milkshake.
Substitutions, what to serve it with, why other chefs are wrong about it. He's got opinions.
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