Tremendous Cosmopolitan
Prep
5m
Cook
0m
Total
5m
Bigly says
Listen. The Cosmopolitan. The TREMENDOUS Cosmopolitan. I already hear it — 'Bigly, the Cosmo, isn't that the 90s drink, the one from the TV show with the four ladies eating brunch in Manhattan,' and let me tell you something, let me tell you SOMETHING. Yes. Yes it is. And it is a great drink. A great drink. The 1990s knew things. The 1990s had POSTURE. The cars were fast, the drinks were pink, the haircuts were committed, everyone had a landline and a personality. Beautiful time. Beautiful time. I miss it.
The Cosmo got a bad rap because people started making it BADLY. They drowned it in cranberry. They used vodka that tasted like a wet sock. They skipped the flamed peel — and the flamed peel is the whole show, the flamed peel is THEATER, the flamed peel is the difference between a drink and an EXPERIENCE — and the Cosmo became a punchline. A sad pink punchline. But not on my watch. Not in this kitchen. We are rehabilitating the Cosmopolitan tonight. The greatest comeback in cocktail history, and I have lived comeback stories, I am a connoisseur of the comeback. It's just a fact.
The secret is BALANCE. Real citrus vodka. Real Cointreau, not the dollar-bin triple sec that tastes like a scented candle. Fresh lime juice, squeezed five minutes ago, because the bottled stuff is a betrayal — a real betrayal, the kind they write country songs about. Cranberry, but only a kiss. Cranberry here is a SEASONING, not the main event. Then the flamed peel over the top. A guy named Ramón — a bartender, an artist, the real deal, suspenders and a mustache that could vote — cornered me at a hotel in Chicago and walked me through it move by move. Took ninety minutes. Worth every second. Believe me.
Ingredients
- 1.5 ozcitrus vodka(Absolut Citron is the original; any quality citrus vodka works)
- 3/4 ozCointreau(Cointreau, not the cheap triple sec, please)
- 1/2 ozfresh lime juice(fresh-squeezed, the bottle is a betrayal)
- 1/4 ozcranberry juice (100%, unsweetened)(it's a tint, not a flood)
- 1/4 ozsimple syrup(optional, balances if your cranberry is very tart)
- 1 wide strip, for garnishorange or lime peel
- a generous handful, for shakingice
Steps
- 1
Place a coupe or martini glass in the freezer to chill for at least 5 minutes.
- 2
Add citrus vodka, Cointreau, fresh lime juice, cranberry juice, and simple syrup (if using) to a cocktail shaker.
- 3
Fill the shaker with ice. Shake hard for 10-12 seconds until the outside is frosted.
- 4
Double-strain through a fine-mesh strainer into the chilled coupe.
- 5
Cut a wide strip of orange or lime peel, avoiding the white pith. Hold a lit match a few inches above the glass with the peel between match and drink, then squeeze the peel sharply so the oils spray through the flame onto the surface — the oils will briefly flash.
- 6
Drop the peel into the drink (or perch it on the rim) and serve immediately.
One more thing
That's the Cosmopolitan. That's the TREMENDOUS Cosmopolitan. Pink, balanced, dressed for a Friday night out, ready for its close-up. You make these for your friends, they will start dressing better. They will get their hair cut. Their posture will improve. It happens. The Cosmo is a confidence drink. It is a small pink fortress of self-esteem in a coupe glass. Defend it. Make it well. Don't drown it in cranberry. It's a beautiful thing.
★ QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS ONE? ★
Ask Bigly about Tremendous Cosmopolitan.
Substitutions, what to serve it with, why other chefs are wrong about it. He's got opinions.
★ MORE LIKE THIS ★
KEEP COOKING.
The Best Berry Smoothie
A thick, frosty mixed berry smoothie with banana, Greek yogurt, and a touch of honey. Four ingredients to blend, two minutes to drink.
The Greatest Bloody Mary
Loaded Bloody Mary with horseradish, Worcestershire, hot sauce, and a heavy garnish lineup. Built in the glass, no skimping on the spice.
Tremendous Chocolate Milkshake
A thick, malt-shop-style chocolate milkshake made with real vanilla ice cream, cocoa, and a pinch of salt. Three minutes, two straws, total knockout.
Tremendous Eggnog
Rich, cooked-custard eggnog made with whole milk, cream, egg yolks, and freshly grated nutmeg. Safe, silky, holiday-perfect. Optional spirits to taste.