Tremendous Roasted Vegetable Tart

Folks. We're making a tart. A TREMENDOUS tart. And before anybody says anything — yes, Bigly is making a tart, Bigly contains multitudes, Bigly can do a steak and Bigly can do a tart, that's what makes Bigly BIGLY — and this tart, this particular tart, is the greatest vegetable tart in the history of vegetable tarts. The French, who invented tarts — and they did invent tarts, I had people look it up, very smart people — they've never made one this good. Not even close. It's a slaughter. Sorry, France. You tried.

The secret to a tremendous vegetable tart is two things. ROAST the vegetables first. Don't put raw vegetables on dough, what are you, an amateur, you'll get a soggy disaster, water everywhere, the bottom looks like a swimming pool, embarrassing. And second — and most chefs are afraid to do this because they think it's cheating — put a layer of cheese underneath. Underneath the vegetables. Between the dough and the vegetables. It's a moisture barrier AND it's delicious. It's two jobs in one. Tremendous engineering. The neighbor who taught me this lived to be 102. Could be a coincidence. Probably not.

Now listen — and this is where you have to TRUST Bigly, because the so-called experts, the cookbook authors with the piping bags, they'll have you mixing your own puff pastry, three hours, butter folding, turning, chilling — it's a NIGHTMARE, it's a wrecked Saturday, you'll be in the kitchen until sundown crying into a stick of butter — meanwhile Bigly says BUY THE PUFF PASTRY. Buy it. From the freezer. It's already great. The freezer aisle did the work. Save your Saturday. Save your soul. Believe me.

Look at that thing. Look at it. Golden, puffed, gorgeous, with charred vegetables glistening on a bed of tangy goat cheese — this is a centerpiece, this is a HUGE play, you bring this to a dinner party and people will ask if you went to culinary school. You can say yes. Bigly went to culinary school. Bigly IS the culinary school. The combover knows. Slice it into squares, serve it warm with a salad and a glass of cold white wine, and accept the compliments. They will be many. Tremendous.