Tremendous Wedge Salad
Prep
10m
Cook
10m
Total
20m
Bigly says
Folks. The wedge. The WEDGE. The greatest single application of iceberg lettuce in human history — and let me tell you something about iceberg, because the disrespect this lettuce gets is OUT OF CONTROL. People say 'oh, it's just water.' People say 'oh, there's no nutrition.' I say SHUT UP. Iceberg has texture. Iceberg has CRUNCH. Iceberg has a JOB, and that job is being the crunchy cold platform for a glorious avalanche of blue cheese and bacon, and no other lettuce on planet Earth can do that job. The kale crowd can take a long walk off a short dock. I wouldn't lie about this.
The wedge salad used to be on every steakhouse menu in America. Every single one. Wood-paneled rooms with leather booths older than your father. Waiters in white jackets who knew your drink before you sat down. Strip houses where the lights were always low and the steaks were always huge. I have eaten this salad in restaurants that no longer exist, restaurants that closed in 1994, restaurants whose names I'm not allowed to say because the building is now a phone store. Servers in those places used to recognize me. They knew. They'd nod. They'd bring the wedge unprompted with a steak knife already on the plate. Magnificent times.
And then — somewhere along the way — the food media decided iceberg was OUT. 'Boring,' they said. 'A relic,' they said. A total disgrace. Those people should not be allowed to write about food. They should be writing about accounting, or zoning, something quiet, something where they can't hurt anyone. The wedge never left. The wedge has been waiting. The wedge is BACK, and not a moment too soon, because the world needs eight crunchy minutes of cold lettuce, hot bacon, and proper chunky blue cheese dressing more than ever. The wedge respects you. The wedge respects the iceberg. It's just a fact.
Ingredients
- 1 large headiceberg lettuce(tight, heavy head — the heavier the better)
- 6 slicesthick-cut bacon(thick-cut, not the floppy stuff)
- 1/2 cupmayonnaise(real mayo, the good jar)
- 1/2 cupsour cream
- 1/4 cupbuttermilk
- 6 oz, dividedblue cheese, crumbled(Point Reyes or a good Maytag — not the dust in a bag)
- 2 tsplemon juice, fresh
- 1/2 tspworcestershire sauce
- 1 small clovegarlic, finely grated
- 1/2 tsp, plus more to tastekosher salt
- 1/2 tsp, plus more for servingblack pepper, freshly ground
- 1 cupcherry tomatoes, halved
- 3 tbspchives, thinly sliced
- 1/4 cupred onion, very thinly sliced
Steps
- 1
Lay the bacon in a cold large skillet. Turn the heat to medium. Cook 8-10 minutes, flipping occasionally, until deeply crisp. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate, cool, then crumble. Set aside.
- 2
In a medium bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, sour cream, buttermilk, lemon juice, worcestershire, grated garlic, salt, and pepper.
- 3
Stir in about two-thirds of the blue cheese (4 oz), leaving it in chunks. Taste and adjust salt and pepper. Refrigerate until ready to serve (up to 3 days ahead).
- 4
Remove any wilted outer leaves from the iceberg. Trim the bottom of the core flat. Slice the head into 4 wedges through the core (the core holds the wedge together).
- 5
Place each wedge cut-side up on a chilled plate. Spoon dressing generously over the top, letting it cascade into the layers.
- 6
Top each wedge with crumbled bacon, halved cherry tomatoes, the remaining 2 oz crumbled blue cheese, thinly sliced red onion, and chives.
- 7
Finish with a heavy crack of black pepper. Serve immediately with a steak knife — you'll need it.
One more thing
That's a wedge. That's the real deal. You serve this before a steak and your dinner guests fall into a trance — they don't know whether to eat it with a fork or a knife or dive in face first, which, by the way, I respect, I've done it, you go for it. Pair it with a martini — dry, dirty, with a blue cheese olive if you're a serious person — and you've recreated 1962 in your kitchen in under ten minutes flat. The wedge wins. The wedge ALWAYS wins. Game over.
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